The only thing worse than unbearable heat is a winter with marginal snow. To ease the pain of low snow periods I retreat to my basement to watch snowmobile videos while a fan blows over a bowl of ice. When I was a kid, VCR’s were not invented (in fact, I even had to get up to change the channels), hence, no VCR videos. So I was left cruising my stacks of magazines. Since then, many new production companies have begun to produce a wide array of snowmobile videos, from Snow-Cross to Hillclimbs to loons in the air.

I started to collect these snowmobile videos in the early 90’s. Within this collection of videos, there are some that collect more dust than others. I’ll share with you my cinematic criticisms and kudos of the various videos that I have in my collection.

My first video was Petersen Production’s ‘Snowmotion, The Art of Sledding.’ It was one of the first ones available to me in 1991 and is one of my dustiest videos. This video gives a good mix of all the various types of racing. There is a very annoying audio background on this tape that is supposed to be the sound of snowmobile engines but instead sounds like a bug zapper on crack. Instead of overlapping the sounds of the snowmobile with music, there is a mix of music and the fabricated engine noise that is quite cheesy. The sound mix was improved somewhat on the ‘Snow Motion II, Men & Their Machines,’ but by then other videos have become available and I stopped purchasing and watching their videos. Snowmotion II is also collecting dust. The coverage and mix of the various aspects of the sport is done well. The music can be described as pleasant, non-verbal rock music that you would play at a wedding or during an intermission at a resort lounge. The narratives are detailed and would be great for anyone just getting into the sport.

Because I am such a fan of this series I thought I would give Slice of Life Production’s Powder Bound series a chance. I purchased the “Powder Bound 3?One Bad Dream.” I did not like this video because the actual video time of powder riding is limited. It does have some interesting footage of the Powder Bound crew riding their sleds on the Colorado sand dunes, something you don’t see everyday. This video is good if you want to take in powder riding and see what snowmobilers do in the summer, such as water skipping and riding sleds in the sand dunes. And if you don’t collect the hill climb series it is an excellent video to take in some crash and burn highlights from the hill climb races which have been mixed into the video.

Memo-Vision’s “Havoc on the Hill: Let the Carnage Commence” is another hill climb video but nowhere near as polished as Slice of Life Production’s Jackson Hole series. When you are covering a race, I think it is important to offer a narrative describing how the racers are doing. If you don’t create a theme, then you should make up for it in other areas such as good music. Having resort lounge rock music and coverage of a hill climb competition in a blinding snowstorm makes this video less enjoyable for a summer’s viewing experience and a collector of dust.

For a video with some good powder riding I would suggest Sno-Video Production’s ‘Wild, Wild Winter.’ This video gets a thumbs up for powder riding and cornice jumping. There is not a lot of narrative discussion either. The music is the resort lounge rock and if you have not gathered it by now, I find that music annoying when there is not a theme involved but on the other hand this video and the accompanying music can suit a broader audience.

Of all of these videos, this year’s “Gravity Meltdown - Road Trip” is a must buy! They continued with the new brief narratives, increased audio clips of the humorous badgering that takes place among their crew, as well as some great audio clips from their monster sleds. This video will have you checking the weather forecast for snow.

On the subject of missing chromosomes, the guys from Raw Entertainment’s Redneck Fury come to mind. This video is different from the other videos because there is a humorous abstract story line. Footage includes some snow cross and backcountry western riding. The music includes heavy/alternative rock, which is fitting for this video’s format. The sound quality takes some getting used to. However, I like this video a lot and out of all the videos that I have, this one looks like the casting crew had a blast making it. Within this video there are cameos of a harem of hard bodied, cheerleader type groupies working on the guy’s sleds, a scene that never occurs in my garage. Other scenes worthy of viewing are the monster jumps. Some of the scenes are not really suited for the extremely young but more the young at heart.

I hope this helps make your next snowmobile video purchase a little easier. Each one of these tapes is geared towards specific audiences so what I may have liked or disliked will likely not hold true for you. Very soon we should be seeing a whole new batch of videos hitting the market from last winter. And if you don’t get anything else from this review, you should at least leave here with this. Never buy a used sled that was used in one of these videos because the chances of having any straight metal on the machines that fly off the cornices, yard sale down the hills or hit the trees is very slim. Stay tuned, literally.

Contact the author Greg Lonero at MsMamoo@aol.com